More technical difficulties...

Sorry.  No post today, either.  Surgery is a bitch.  At least there's plenty of blood and painkillers.

Raven Tresses, Skin as Pale as Cream

Remember how we talked about blondes a while back?  Today we talk about their polar opposites.

Yes, kids, today we talk about the creepy, pale-skinned, brunette beauties.

Not her.  She's just waiting for her dealer to call.

Now, we're not just talking about a brown-haired girl that doesn't like to go outside.  We're talking about full-on Snow White "hair as black as a raven's wing, lips as red as blood, skin as white as snow".  Porcelain perfection with a hint of evil.  Ghostly seduction (whether or not the character is an actual ghost).

This trope exists solely because it's a fantastic visual contrast.  (That means it's nice to look at.)  Also, it generally serves to indicate villainy so you're not gonna get great odds if you're betting on whether a character is a villain or not.  That being said, it doesn't ALWAYS indicate villainy.  In fact, the trope is kind of neutral but, let's face it, when you see this character, you tend to gravitate toward the macabre.

And here's your fanservice.

But, really, why does this trope exist?

Historically, up to the Victorian era,  it was assumed that if you were wealthy and educated enough, you didn't have to do anything outdoors, therefore your skin was pale to symbolize... well, laziness, really and dark hair just emphasized it.  Wan girls that were prone to fainting were La Mode for a very long time until the idea of the blonde, blue-eyed, tan "natural beauty" came into style.  Because of the visual contrast to blondes, particularly in black and white films, they were most often portrayed as sinful, wicked women because this trope lands squarely in "Black is evil, blonde is good" territory (although this is changing as I said above) and gives us a "pale is sickly" vibe.  The combination of the above gives us the bestest villain complexion ever.  It also tells me that a tanning bed and some damn exercise might make the characters blend in a little better and avoid that stigma. 
 

OK, so, maybe she's a little too "tuberculosis"...

Now, we need to keep in mind that, unlike blondes, this trope is not gender-specific but it DOES, most often, extend itself to women.  Men are also judged based on their complexion and, even more often than women, they are judged to be villains. We also need to not mistake these characters for albinos.  That's a separate thing altogether.  The white skin is most often a contrived look because, really, even albinos have SOME color due to blood circulation and if a person is portrayed as perfectly white, they often cross the line into the Uncanny Valley, depending on the art style used throughout the film. 

The pale, dark-haired individual, in film and fiction, is pretty much synonymous with vampires, goth kids and the stringy-haired ghost girl.  Once again, these characters are not necessarily evil but they do bring forth death and disease imagery and they all tend to wear entirely too much eye shadow.  The character is rarely a bruiser but it does happen occasionally (see Gothic Lolita in Marvel Comics' Livewires.)  No, this character is most often slinking through the background with heroin-hooker eyes and ribs you can use as a toast rack, basically oozing depravity and consumption unless they're on the good side of the coin where they're usually a deadpan snarker or a heroic foil for the main character.  Not a team player but still wanting things to turn out OK.  Even on the good side of the coin, the dark-haired gorgeousness is often a femme-fatale.

She'll cut ya.  And you'll like it.

As for examples, these bitches are EVERYWHERE!  From Morticia Addams to Tim Burton's version of The Penguin to Esther in Orphan to any Japanese ghost to the upcoming Stoker, dark hair and pale skin will assault your eyes while you look for nostrils to make sure they have a fucking nose.  Tim Burton made his career on this trope and he got the idea from Conrad Veidt.  He'll usually serve it to us with Johnny fucking Depp or Helena Bonham-Carter.  All this tells me is that he needs to hire different actors from time to time.  Jodelle Ferland is pretty much the modern epitome of it.

And it's because of all of this that, given today's resurgence of the pin-up girl, the pale, dark-skinned girl with a wink and a kick, along with the smokey eye, is popular, again, as a standard of beauty (except in the case of The Penguin...) therefore, much like with blondes as angelic good-girls, this trope is basically considered discredited.

It's still pretty to look at.

See?

Master Bates

Today I'm not reviewing a movie.  I know.  Sad face, right?

No, today, I'm reviewing a television show and it's one that I've been looking forward to for a while.

Great Googlie-Mooglie this show is starting off FANTASTIC!

You all know about Norman Bates and his relationship with Mother.  The new series goes deeper into that relationship as it's a prequel to the movie.  Norman's father dies and 6 months later, Mom goes all "free-spirited" and buys a motel.  That part's a given, really.  Dad dies a little mysteriously for my taste but I'm sure we'll get into that later in the season.  Norman makes a few friends at school that Mother does not approve of, of course, and one of the neighbors gets pissed at them because they bought his family's property.

NO, I'm not going to tell you any more.  Suffice it to say that since we are only one episode in, we're just getting a glimpse of the crazy to come.  Vera Farmiga is delightfully twisted as Norma Bates and Freddie Highmore has always done quirky well so he's KILLING it as Norman.  He even seems to have taken on some of Anthony Perkins' mannerisms.

That is a LOT of neck, man... it's freaky.

The only thing I'm concerned with is that it takes place in the present.  They go for a vintage feel but I'm thinking they should have gone for actual costume porn instead of just the look.

Pretty, yes, but he likes it, too.

No, I really don't have anything to bitch about, yet.  I'm sure I'll get into it more, later, but this gave me a solid start and, time period notwithstanding, Bates Motel is rocking my world, so far.  I hope they take us down a rabbit hole of madness and incest (squicky but essential to the plot) and I hope that, at some point, they go into what happened to Mother and let Norman take it on his own.

Get into it, kids.

Zombie Week: Hey! Teacher! Leave Those Kids Alone!

Hey, sorry for no notice on this, but Disturbing Films is holding their third annual Zombie Week so I'm all contributing and junk!  WOOOO!

Anyway, 

Oh, Bob Clark.  What in the world would we do without you?  Why, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't have the 1972 B-Grader bomber, Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things.

Oh, MAN is this a barker. 

So, the movie starts with a cemetery caretaker being attacked and a corpse being replaced with what appears to be another, this time ambulatory, corpse... it's very surreal.  Then creepazoid Alan takes he theater troupe (who he calls his children... eeeeew) to an abandoned island cemetery for some macabre "fun".  Fun for him, anyway.  His troupe probably should have gotten the hint that this guy was an ass when he asked them to exhume a corpse.  After the troupe turns on him, for using a couple of cast mates to play a "living dead" joke, Alan berates his cast and uses the legit corpse they replaced to play sick jokes on this "friends" and threaten their jobs until he decides to hold a seance from a "grimory" because he can't pronounce "grimoire".  It doesn't take long to realize that the ritual actually worked and the dead have risen.  They (as with any good zombie movie) take shelter in the "old dark house" and have to decide if they run for help or stay put. 

Again.  Alan is a dick.

OH.  MY.  GAWD.  I haven't seen this much scenery chewing since Night of the Lepus.  Let's forget about the fact that these people actually KNOW Alan and probably shouldn't have followed him to the island cemetery in the first place but DAMN!  I would have found another job.  Ain't no fuckin' way.  And, seriously?  Grave-robbing?  The stink alone should have driven the sensitive actors running to the hills. And these "jobs" they have.  They're likely local theater wages in 1972.  I'm fairly certain that panhandling pays more.  Why are they so worried about losing them? 

Scary Gypsy Lady ain't got no time fo' dat.

And, really?  Taking the corpse back to the cabin to party a la Weekend at Bernies?  Making the troupe apologize TO THE CORPSE when they SHOULD be burying the stiff where he belongs?  Stupidness.

I just really can't go on anymore.  This is HILARIOUSLY bad.  Frankly, all of these idiots get what they deserve for being dumber'n'a bag o' hammers.