Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Creeps. I Has Them.

You know, I saw "From the Producer of Paranormal Activity and Insidious" on the poster for Sinister and I was ready to write it off.


I do not get creeped out often and this one was literally a white knuckler.  I have a crease on my ass from the edge of my seat.  I could not take my eyes off of the screen and I'm not sure I blinked for a while. 

It's good enough for me to use awful clich├ęs.  Does this tell you anything?

This is not to say that it doesn't have problems.  I mean, it does follow a pretty traditional haunting/search for lasting fame/author searching for the book of a lifetime places himself and his family in danger plot so it's almost predictable.  The twists, though...  Oh, boy, the twists.

Chubby Checker, you asshole.

I'm gonna try not to spoil anything here, but basically, the story goes like this.

Author dude Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke, looking suspiciously like one of the Dillon brothers) moves his family into murder house unbeknownst to his family (until later in the movie which causes issues) because he wants to write the bestest true crime novel EVER.  Ellison finds a stack of 8MM snuff films in the attic that show a series of murders going back to 1966.  He enlists the help of the local deputy to help him make the connection.  In the films, though, is a creepy dude who it appears is some kind of pagan child-eater-god named Bagul that uses images as a gateway to his victims and he's placed his family directly in its path..

Keep lookin'.  He's comin' for you next.

Now, I understand that a modern audience may not like or get this movie but fuck them.  This movie has classic horror written all over it.  From the first frames where we watch the death of the family into whose home the author has moved to the utterly inhuman noises coming from the eldest child in the middle of a night terror to everything that happens afterward (although I wish the commercials hadn't given away some of that), this is fresh and, even given it's almost predictability, exciting.

And the lawnmower.  OHGAWDTHELAWNMOWER!!

Seriously, the only question I left this movie with is "Why the hell doesn't this asshole turn on the damn lights when he's investigating strange noises in the house?"

Sorry, but if I hear stupidness in another room, the lights are going ON.

Fuck you pagan child eater god.



  1. That lawnmower scene...thing is, I knew it was coming. I knew it. And it still freaked me the fuck out. Goosebumps for half an hour afterward.

    1. I had heard that there was a lawnmower. I believe it was from you and or my friend Brent. I had some idea of what it would be. I had no idea it would be THAT!


      The cool thing about this movie is that it really isn't graphic. There's some blood but not a lot of gore. That makes it better.

    2. I can only concur. One of the best straight horror movies I've seen in quite a while, because it focuses not on the splatter, but on the palpable dread one feels every time he goes up into that attic.

    3. Seriously, though? Turn on a damn light.

  2. Yeah, the light thing bugged me too. Also the kind of theater-camp interpretive dance thing with the ghost children. You know what I mean. Also I didn't need to see the really long argument with his wife.

    Otherwise it was really scary fun!

    1. Oh, you mean the Isadore Duncan School of Haunting? Yeah, that was a little weird.

      But, then again, I think all interpretive dance is creepy.

  3. HBA Welcome Wagon...
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    1. I checked today and the link is working correctly. Thank you!!

    2. I will say, though, that I REALLY hate spam and I've had blogs overrun with it before. Seriously, not a fan. That being the case, as much as I want anyone to be able to legitimately comment, I think I'll keep Captcha on to weed out the bots. :D