Thursday, October 18, 2012

Please Share What You're Smoking.

When I was 10 or so, the local Creature Feature ran a little known TV movie called Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (also known as Nightmare) and it creeped my shit out.

My siblings and I decided to call the little goblin things "Strawberry Shortcake and friends" in order to mitigate the creeps because, really, it's a made-for-TV movie that had no right being as scary as it was.  No TV movie prior to 1986 or so should be allowed to be anything but laughable.  But, noooooooo.  Spooky, spooky shit.  At least to a ten-year-old.

These guys.  These guys right here.  Nightmare fuel.

Apparently, this film has reached cult status and for good reason.  It's well done and it's rightfully scary and who doesn't love a potato-head monster?

Mmmmm.... potatoes.

This brings us to 2011, in which one of the most brilliant directors currently working updates the cult classic with his own twisted vision.

There's a problem, here.

He turned it into a dark fairy tale.  I LOVE fairy tales, dark or otherwise, but he took a truly horrifying movie and tamed it.  The man who gave us Pan's Labyrinth made a kid's movie.

Don't get me wrong.  On its own, it's quite enjoyable but I'm one of those nerds that finds it hard to divorce the source material from the movie and while I always enjoy watching a child get needlessly tortured, the only thing saving this movie is the special effects and the art direction.  They're WONDROUS.

Also?  Nightmare fuel.  Kinda.

The rest of the movie is just... blah.  I mean, yeah, it's great that Katie Holmes escaped from her basement to make the movie and she was good but she didn't have a lot to work with.  "Ooh, I'm the only good stepmother in cinema and/or fairy tale history and I have to save the little girl from creepy things because I'm the only person that believes her.  Remind me to fire my agent and stomp on Tom Cruise's balls for a while."

Seriously, I really don't have a lot to say about this one.  The original is better, but this is OK.  Your mileage may vary.

No comments:

Post a Comment