I JUST FOUND MY NEW EXTRA-SUPER-DUPER-RED-RIDER-CARBINE-ACTION-AIR-RIFLE-YOU'LL-SHOOT-YOUR-EYE-OUT FAVORITIST CHRISTMAS MOVIE IN THE HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS MOVIES IN THE EVEREST OF EVER AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO POINT OUT THAT IT'S RATED PG-13!!
KRAMPUS, BITCHES! Check it.
I will not spoil it because seriously, you have to see it to KNOW the genius that is behind this (for real) family-friendly horror flick. This is pure fucking brilliance and do you know WHY it's brilliant?
|No, Uncle Bob, tell me? I'm all tee... ears.|
|You could be wrong like this gingerbread man. Don't be wrong like this gingerbread man.|
No, all truth, kids, this is the Gremlins of this generation. It is a fucking CLASSIC of horror cinema and you should be using this movie to frighten children under the age of 13 as often as you can until you die of laughter from scaring children under the age of 13 at the ripe old age of "pre-dementia".
There's little to no gore, it's all giggly-creepy and evil toys and anti-Santa and making fun of stupid Republicans and making sure that people that deserve it get what's coming to them (even if it has one of the lamest ending conventions known to mankind).
It's FUCKING AMAZEBALLS and you need to get your ass to a theater right fucking now.
|Ooooooh. Gramma done did it now.|
I was LITERALLY bouncing up and down in my seat, clapping and giggling through this whole damn film. It amused my friend immensely. It was a great time. I was happy. Like, "toddler on Christmas morning" happy. I haven't been that happy since my wedding.
|Frostbite. The gift that keeps on giving. Like herpes.|
Remember. If you spend your money on this, we get a sequel to Trick'r'Treat and that makes Uncle Bob ecstatic in ways that could possibly make him spontaneously combust.
And who doesn't want that?