Sunday, September 23, 2012

And Away We Go...

So, I've been singing this movie's praises for a while now but I truly think that everyone should see it.  I'm not even sure that I'd call it a horror movie but it does involve vampires so it just barely falls within the genre.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be lynched over this but I warned you that bad movies were gonna get preference over here.

Please sit down.  No, really.  You're gonna want to sit for this because I truly think this is one of the best movies ever made.

Sitting?  Good.

The movie I'm talking about is... Blubberella.

I KNOW, RIGHT?  Not ONLY is it made by Uwe "Raging" Boll,  but it's making fun of perhaps the second-most decent film he's ever done, Bloodrayne.  (Yes, I am quite aware of the implications of that statement.  Please note that I'm only comparing it with his other works, not the works of any other director.)

But here's WHY I love it.  I love it because not only does it star Willam Belli (Of RuPaul's Drag Race fame) as the sassy sidekick "Vadge", but it looks, acts, feels and just about tastes like failure.

It is some serious B-grade, micro-budget crap that in no way, shape or form takes itself seriously.  It KNOWS that the reason it was made is because Boll had all of these Nazi uniforms made and they were just going to go to waste.  It KNOWS that it exists solely to have a fat half-vampire with a salami sandwich kick the crap out of krauts... badly.  It is a giant slap in the face of political correctness and if you're easily offended you should probably just walk away now because you're not gonna like me OR my blog.

I mean, seriously.  Willam in blackface doing cheesy "Precious" dialogue?  Clint Howard as "Dr. Mangler"?  When the main villain gets an injection of her blood he gains a hundred pounds?  I mean, she literally escapes the Nazis by pointing and saying "Hey, isn't that Hitler" AND ROLLING AWAY ON HER SEGWAY!  This is pure, cheesy fun.  It's not polished by any stretch of the imagination but it has some great moments and it's worth the watch.

No, seriously.

What are you doing with that rope?

No comments:

Post a Comment