Now I Know My ABCs...

THE LONG WAIT IS OVER!

The ABC's of Death is on Pay-Per-View and it is glorious!

Ant Timpson and Tim League want to play a game.  That game is, can we fit 26 shorts, each dealing with a letter of the alphabet, into a two hour movie.

YES, THEY CAN!

And they got some AMAZING talent to do it.  Directors like Angela Bettis (E is for Exterminate), Ti West (M is for Miscarriage) and Adam Wingard (Q is for Quack) give us the best trip to Sesame Street, EVER.

Only maybe not.

Yes, there are furries... but there is no F is for Furry.  Go fig.

See, here's the thing.  Mondo Cinema is awesome and all and I'm all about putting forth the weird but some of these shorts are just plain fucked up.  And not fucked up in a good way.  Artistic vision is one thing but if it takes longer to explain the short than it does to watch it, that could be considered a problem.

Also, if you're not into poop jokes, don't watch.  There are a LOT of toilet references in this one.  In fact, there is a segment called "T is for Toilet" which is an entry chosen via online contest.  It involves one little boy's fear of toilet training and is actually kind of hilarious. 

Scarred.  For.  Life.

None of this is to say that it's not a heck of a lot of fun.  Yeah, there are some misses, but we've got mostly hits and that's a good thing.  We've got some hilariousness,  we've got twists, we've got the absolutely bizarre, we've got poop jokes, we've got internationalism (YAY, global consciousness!), we've got standard horror and we've got gore.  Hell, we've got zombie clowns, too, if that's what you're into.

One thing we ALSO have, in some cases, is extreme social messages.  The one that comes to mind here is "X is for XXL".  A little French ditty about a fat woman who really just has enough of the bullying and takes things into her own hands.

This is NOT a jolly fat woman.

It gives a short, sharp view of the effects of advertising and bullying on a person's psyche and why women go to the lengths they do to diet.  It's horrific and poignant and a little bit sad.

I guarantee that there is something in this for EVERY horror fan to enjoy.  It may not be the whole picture but, as with American Mary, the hype for this one is, I think, well deserved.  Be prepared for subtitles, though.  A lot of them. 

I'ma go play with Legos, now.