Friday, June 7, 2013

Dammit, Hitler! It's Not For You!!

Ahhh, Springtime.  That time when the world wonders why it feels a breeze and finds that its blanket of snow is gone.  When assholes indulge in kidnapping and creepy farmers need to feed their basement monsters.

Our movie starts with a creepy farmer getting perturbed and setting off for his work day.  His work day consists of nabbing young women and hanging them up in his barn by the wrists.

Then we hook up with three professional kidnappers who snag a little girl.  Obviously there's ransom involved.

Frying pan.  Fire.  Who cares?

About an hour into an hour and a half long movie, the surviving girl from the first kidnapping escapes and lands smack in the middle of the second kidnapping and chaos ensues.

No, seriously.  That's it.

Even the villain is disappointed.

I'm not going to say this is a bad movie.  It's not great but it's not bad.  It IS entirely too drawn out for a small payoff but the concept, in and of itself, is OK.  It's not "From Dusk Til Dawn" or "The Cottage" awesome but it's well-acted and there are a lot of things in this film that were well-thought-out.

Too bad the plot wasn't one of them.

Yes, I know this is short but I don't have a lot to work with, here.


Just meh.

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