And then I picked my movie. I thought I'd choose something I'd never seen and I saw this in the queue:
A movie about Lizzie Borden's ghost? With Gary Busey in all of his Insano-Vision™ glory? Count me in! I mean, we all know I'm a glutton for punishment, right? I watch bad movies on purpose because there are sometimes hidden gems.
This was not one of them.
Our story is about a girl who is in therapy because of something horrible in her childhood involving Dan Swayze who is an UGLY motherfucker. Jesus. How much work did Patrick have done to avoid looking like his brother, anyway? Patrick's face must've cost a mint.
So, yeah. It's all vague and involves a hatchet.
|And sometimes a bat.|
|Even her shrink knows it.|
Yeah, there's the ghost of Lizzie Borden and a creepy neighbor that doesn't know how to fuckin' knock but neither they nor Corbin Bernsen nor Gary Busey make up for the utter lameness that is this film. The director maybe needs to go back to directing porn. Or maybe not since there wasn't a SHRED of nudity in this. Oh, wait. I lied. There were boobs. Big, round fakeys. For about a second. Whee.
|Seriously? THIS is Lizzie Borden's ghost? Fuck off.|
You can just pass right on by this one.
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