Tuesday, September 3, 2013


FINALLY!  A director that understands that vampires are fucking monsters!

It took me a while to get to this one but I'm kind of glad I did. Stake Land is a 2010 vampire film with a twist.

It plays a little like Zombieland but that's OK because this one is much darker.  Older guy takes younger orphan under his wing and teaches him the way of the vampire hunter after the vamps cause Armageddon.  Pretty simple, right?

'Cause the vamps are pretty fuckin' ugly.
Yeah.  Pretty simple.

Along the way, they rescue a nun from the local religious crazies.  They get CAPTURED by said religious crazies, they escape from the religious crazies and the religious crazies spend the rest of the movie getting all revenge-y.  Well, one of them does.

They also join up with a pregnant woman (Danielle Harris of Halloween fame) and the token black dude who, you guessed it, dies first.

But he got to help these guys look badass for a bit.
This is almost brilliant film-making and it really does bring something new-ish to the table.  Mostly in treating the vampires like zombies.  They're brainless and they only live to feed.  The fact that they evolve is interesting, too.  You see a bit of a progression with them.  The fact that the true horror is religion, though is a little anvilicious.  

As for the acting, it was enjoyable.  There weren't any cast members that could be mistaken for lumber, in any case.  Except for one but she was dead.

All in all?  Thumbs up.  Not too high, but it makes for a good watch.

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